Pinned toot

Here with your good scarf content in 2019. Remember kids - ALL IT TAKES IS A SCARF youtube.com/watch?v=EsQrHXud4P

Oh good, is this food poisoning to round out my day?

Thanks fam, panic subsiding. That sucked.

ugh, I just want fajitas and queso today.

Can someone just loan me their transporter today for an hour or so, so I can go have El Real for lunch?

regional scent association is so bizarre.

"I love this lavender-scented deodorant."
"Lavender smells of old lady."
*next time, buys rose scented to own the libs*

British husband trying to get me to say “Fawkes” like he does (mine sounds more like “fox”), but “just say it like me without the funny voice.” Dude, my voice doesn’t ever make that particular vowel combo, it’s going to be funny by default.

He also doesn’t appreciate the irony of hating it when Americans try to cop a British accent while simultaneously wanting them all to try to sound more British

Ok loves, sleepy time. Big squishy mom hugs to all of you. I know this is a rough time for some of you but you’re being really brave and I’m so proud of you.

genital sketches, maybe body horror-like? Show more

me: working from home gives me the opportunity to focus on tasks free from the the distractions of a noisy office!

brain:

TROUT

TROUT

LET IT ALL OUT

THESE ARE THE FISH I CAN DO WITHOUT

SALMON

I’M TALKING TO YOU

SALMON

me: cool never mind

Only message more rolleyes on OKC than a plain “hi” is “hi Malissa”

......bro my name is RIGHT THERE and you can’t be fucked to spell it right? Pass.

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Onster Farm!

Onster Farm is the official Mastodon instance of Doctective Jake Peralta. In this house, we use alt text.