Pinned toot

always impressed by tooters who post fetid, repulsive toots that spit in the face of human decency and still manage to have really wholesome energy

Pinned toot

fuck moral support. i want immoral support. encourage me to do terrible, heinous things

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we were on a lovely countryside walk and spotted a pair of pants nailed to a tree. upon closer inspection,

JANTS

Pinned toot

boss makes a dollar
i take a dollar
i am embezzling company funds

oh oops it's bedtime and i didn't write that thread OH WELL

nonBOOnary boosted

lads on the tootline
lads taking over my TL
my favorite social media site taunting me, its face warps to the form of a lad who will grow up to be a man who looks like his name is bentley worthington

nonBOOnary boosted

sext: i revert to my diurnal self as you carelessly find your job or lifestyle that allows you to have a nocturnal lifestyle

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my favourite make believe creature is 'a woman' which is like a goblin but sexy

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nonBOOnary boosted

ladybug trods up and down the piano keys, frog tests the feedback pedal, duck puts on sunglasses. the best band of all time is ready to take the stage

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nonBOOnary boosted

@hanny @garfiald

*lights cigarette and exhales slowly* kid, in this world there are shaggers... and shaggys

nonBOOnary boosted
nonBOOnary boosted
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I do not "shag birds" I "make love", to "sexy ladies", for a minute, two minutes at a time

nonBOOnary boosted

boost this and i'll guess your starsign
not based off posts or any knowledge of astrology, just at random. i've got a 1 in 13 chance right

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Onster Farm!

Onster Farm is the official Mastodon instance of Doctective Jake Peralta. In this house, we use alt text.