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that's me on a scooter
that's me on a push. bike.
reducing my emissions

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gender reveal party. i play you 6 minutes of static projected onto a large white sheet then look at you expectantly

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2019 is gonna be the year we:
- write better image captions!
- use clearer content warnings!
- speak more positively about ourselves!
- call each other out gently on small mistakes!
- bring down two or more national governments!
- get better at setting, insisting on and respecting boundaries!

good vibes only this year ✨

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if you turn up for gender studies without your gender they make you go through lost property and borrow a sweaty old one :-/

sometimes your mate isn't being 'changed' by his girlfriend, rather the relationship he has with her allows for more growth, is healthier, more fulfilling, and deeper than his friendship with you, but whatever go off

@bryn love our squishy squonshy bug brother

tired of talking to people irl, gotta have dinner with my family...... need quiet

bad innuendo Show more

selfie??????? eye contact. it’s kind of cursed, that’s why it belongs here Show more

doing things all day has Taken It Out of Me

performing ritual augury and predicting your future through the subtle patterns of bottom keysmashing

stole this joke off my sister sorry everyone. she pointed these loos out to me

all of this to say is that I will never be the world's best professional toy car swallower and that's just the way it is

i think the biggest trick that's ever been pulled on me is that I fully deeply believe that every single second of my time is wasted unless i'm working on becoming the best in the world at something

air rifles, animal in some peril (ultimately unharmed) Show more

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Onster Farm!

Onster Farm is the official Mastodon instance of Doctective Jake Peralta. In this house, we use alt text.