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fuck moral support. i want immoral support. encourage me to do terrible, heinous things

@Taweret THAT'S the kind of thing i'm talking about

@bryn is this why you were collecting the conspiracy theories?

@bryn easy, just become a republican political appointee! [real time with Bill Maher theme starts playing]

wringing every last wretched fav out of this toot. it's a good toot and i'm proud of it.

@bryn go punch the kid who pierces ears at claires

@bryn so don't stick your lip in it whilst you punch them in the face

@Luxotek what if i want an easily-infected lip piercing. what then.

@bryn punch yourself in the face with the piercing gun

@Luxotek step 1: punch kid
step 2: pierce own lip
step 3: ???
step 4: profit
got it

@bryn go do pressed hams on the local non-chain grocers windows

@bryn go scream out peoples toots an old country buffet during dinner rush at 4pm and frighten the old people

@Luxotek *deep breath" WHERE MY CRYING WIFE HEADS?
(an old lady faints)

@bryn *deep breath* PEE IS STORED IN THE JALLS (JEAN BALLS)

@Luxotek i am forcibly removed from the beefeater

@Luxotek i think our mayor is a tory so this is actually extremely moral and good

@bryn oh.. uh.. then wash his car and leave a nice note thanking him for his service

@bryn also i didn't know you were in europe/england or whatever so i dunno what a tory is and many of these might not apply

@bryn and it's right there in your bio that i've read a dozen times that you're in the uk...

i'm not smart

@Luxotek bleh lbr blocks of text longer than 7 words are completely incomprehensible anyway

@Luxotek a tory is a conservative in the uk. they're probably the equivalent of the american political centre or sth idk. but yeah most of these are very translatable. it's all good. keep up the immoral support

@bryn go do a fart that could be considered a crime against nature in your local work out gym and then leave

@Luxotek i could feasibly do this accidentally tbh. in fact, i probably already have

@bryn park too close to the line at the local walgreens handicap spot

@bryn go convince a pack of youths that the beatles is the best band ever and then play them supertramp and say it's the beatles

@Luxotek i'm scared of youths, they're threatening

@bryn start releasing feral cats into small books stores

@bryn go to your local pet stores and flip all the turtles and tortoises on their backs then do your evil laugh and run out

@bryn ransom pensioners meds back to them but then give them someones elses meds

@bryn go leave fake parking tickets about driving gas guzzlers on every SUV in a parking lot

@bryn yeah you know "horrible heinous things" usually turn out to be praxis of some kind

@bryn GO PIRATE AN INDIE MOVIE MADE BY A COUPLE OF GUYS ON A SHOESTRING’S SHOESTRING BUDGET

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Onster Farm is the official Mastodon instance of Doctective Jake Peralta. In this house, we use alt text.