hmm did you know it's a bad look to misgender people because you don't like them, deliberately or otherwise

doing that frames a very basic respect for a core component of a person's self as a reward to be earned rather than the bare minimum human decency it is, and that fucking sucks!!

and get this: when you misgender someone you dislike the message you're putting out to people you *do* like is "i don't see you as your gender, but i'll make the effort to gender you right up until you do something that i'm not keen on" and that hurts :^)

can't believe i'm actually writing a thread on why misgendering shouldn't be used as punishment or correct gendering as a reward but it's cathartic so whatever

@bryn If someone does that not-deliberately, how can it also be because they dislike them?

@Finfell out of lack of care, or if you're corrected and refuse to acknowledge or apologise

@girl @realtoddhoward mona i'll end them... wtf. this wasn't anyone lately but i saw it happen a while ago somewhere and it's irked me ever since

@bryn @girl @realtoddhoward
I'm convinced misgendering is a hatespeech and people who do it should be regarded with suspicion at the very least.

@floppyplopper @bryn @realtoddhoward it is! including intentionally not using neopronouns or using they/them for someone who doesnt use they/them pronouns.

@bryn yeah i had friends that did that and didnt realized how fucked up it was. the ol “my respect for your identity is conditional on whether or not i like you” routine. yeah that trans guy is a fuckboy but we will NOT call him “She” laura!!!!!!

@smudgehell i feel like it could be hard to grasp how harmful it is if you're cis, not that that's any kind of excuse
i think i wanted to write this so i coul actually work out how to express it in words for myself as much as anything else

@bryn people who do this disgust me on a gut-wrenching level

@bryn right??? I hate when I tell ppl to check for pronouns someone's always gotta tell me some people don't deserve it. Excuse??? Even if someone is shit they still don't "deserve" Misgendering and probable transphobia.

@scoots exactly. no matter how shitty one person is, misgendering deliberately or remorselessly is an act of massive disrespect against all trans people

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Onster Farm is the official Mastodon instance of Doctective Jake Peralta. In this house, we use alt text.