and get this: when you misgender someone you dislike the message you're putting out to people you *do* like is "i don't see you as your gender, but i'll make the effort to gender you right up until you do something that i'm not keen on" and that hurts :^)
@bryn yeah i had friends that did that and didnt realized how fucked up it was. the ol “my respect for your identity is conditional on whether or not i like you” routine. yeah that trans guy is a fuckboy but we will NOT call him “She” laura!!!!!!
@smudgehell i feel like it could be hard to grasp how harmful it is if you're cis, not that that's any kind of excuse
i think i wanted to write this so i coul actually work out how to express it in words for myself as much as anything else
Onster Farm is the official Mastodon instance of Doctective Jake Peralta. In this house, we use alt text.