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[Dracula at the blood donation drive]

nurse: Have you ever had any sexual contact with a man?

Dracula: What is a man?!

nurse, sighing heavily: Sorry, sir. Have you ever had any sexual contact with a miserable little pile of secrets?

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Let 👏 women 👏 be 👏 the 👏 Joker 👏

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THE MASK

of Amontillado (1994)

When Fortunato (Jim Carrey) is trapped in a wine cellar by his supposed friend Montresor, he finds a strange mask that grants him bizarre powers

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Thinking of buying a drill, but like, for a bit.

We've got more new subscriber emotes! Come hang out and spam emotes to the sweet songs of Crystalis! twitch.tv/saberamesia

cis ppl don't interact 

Reverse Isakai where when the truck hits the hero, the truck gets transported to the fantasy world.

Now taking applications for the position of Wife 2: Electric Boogaloo

did you know? the common abbreviations for stats in DnD (str, dex, wis) can actually stand for anything you want! "strength" and "dexterity" are only used commonly because of tradition, but feel free to use anything else that fits! My personal favorites are "string", "dextrose" and "wisard"

Some happy news: last night I hit 75 Twitch subscribers, so I'm planning on doing a special Guitar Covers Stream!

It hasn't been scheduled yet, but watch this space for more information!

Also if you're interested in getting notified when I stream, please follow me on Twitch at twitch.tv/SaberaMesia

Also if you're interested in getting notified when I stream, please follow me on Twitch at twitch.tv/SaberaMesia

Some happy news: last night I hit 75 Twitch subscribers, so I'm planning on doing a special Guitar Covers Stream!

It hasn't been scheduled yet, but watch this space for more information!

sex shop shitpost 

What color are your eyes?
(I love posing a question to everyone when I am really looking for on person’s answer.)

lewd grs shitpost 

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Onster Farm!

Onster Farm is the official Mastodon instance of Doctective Jake Peralta. In this house, we use alt text.