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My husband just sent me a text that just said "Wife!!!!!!!" and when I replied, after a minute, "yes, that's me, what," he responded, "it's happening!!!!!!!"

because: one of our chickens LAID AN EGG, A CHICKEN LAID AN EGG, WE DID IT

Here's a fucking topical and low effort post: salt fat acid yeet
enjoy the trash, bottom feeders

| ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄|
|  How is  |
|  babby   |
| formed?  |
| How girl |
|   get    |
|pragnent? |
|__________|
(\__/) ||
(•ㅅ•) ||
/   づ

Jesus.

Now there’s a debate about if February is the second or third month in a year.

I clearly died and now I’m in hell.

what day would the main character of Earthbound get married on? Show more

selfies/eye contact Show more

Specter Patch Kids: the only candy absolutely cursed with horrifying flavorghosts

found my favorite character in the new smash bros

Specter Patch Kids: the only candy absolutely cursed with horrifying flavorghosts

how embarrassing to be a famous baker named Paul Hollywood

I have a Ph.D., ask me anything about my poor judgement.

by the time you'e 26 you should be able to say "i considered getting a phd in [insert obscure area of interest], but then i decided to smoke weed instead"

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Onster Farm!

Onster Farm is the official Mastodon instance of Doctective Jake Peralta. In this house, we use alt text.