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Licking my finger to press the "next page" button on a pdf

Today being pi day and all I just want to say Show more

Today being pi day and all I just want to say Show more

*tying my jacket around my waist cuz it's fuckin hot outside* "there we go, how's that look?"

my dad: "you look good! you look, sexy?"

"nope. nuh uh. don't say sexy. no."

Me: "I'm a beginner, I'm looking for a more entry level climbing shoe."
Also me: [ grabs a hold and swings into a heel hook until she's almost inverted ]

pronoun Shitpost Show more

Enbies tend to clump together because their magnetic fields always attract.

Honestly convinced that enbies summon more enbies by existing

Languages I already know:
English (native)
Spanish (I'm rusty pero puedo hablar si necesito)
Japanese (話せるけどθͺ­γΏθƒ½εŠ›γ¨θžγε–γ‚Šθƒ½εŠ›γ£γ¦γͺγ‚“γ‹δ½Žγ„γ¨ζ€γ„γΎγ™)

Some languages I'd like to really learn:
French
Italian
Russian
Korean
Mandarin
Cantonese
Thai
Malay
Tagalog
CatalΓ‘n
Basque
Hungarian

judaism-adjacent shitpost, but also a post about my dick in particular Show more

We look at birds and wish we could fly.

Birds look at fish and wish they could swim.

Fish look at amphibians and wish they could go on land.

Amphibians look at reptiles and wish they didn't have to stay so close to water.

Reptiles don't give a fuck, though. They're totally cool with things being exactly the way they are.

judaism-adjacent shitpost, but also a post about my dick in particular Show more

one of my favorite things to do, as a Jewish person, is to link far to many of my traits to the fact that I'm Jewish. "oh you noticed the wry smirk I give after telling a joke. yes, yes I do that because I have no foreskin."

Airport capitalism is terrible. Under airport communism, every breakfast sandwich will have buttons that are triggered by the web interface.

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Onster Farm!

Onster Farm is the official Mastodon instance of Doctective Jake Peralta. In this house, we use alt text.