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lewd 

Me in an incredibly good outfit pic EC 

Your notifications are now your "nochos". Menchies and nochos.

In case it's not clear, this is a self-descriptive toot.

I hope this guy's employees sue him for so much he has to sell them the company to pay it

@kelbesque

I actually have two exact copies of some really nice jeans, and I want to turn one of the pairs into jorts, but I don't want to hurt my babies. they fit so well and don't have holes yet :/

I need to 3D print a copy of the shirt I'm wearing today so I can convert one version of it into a tank top.

lighter stealing shitpost 🔥 

Who is somebody you don't follow but are always happy to see show up on your TL?

work 

subtooting Crystal 

I'm living for myself today. Boosts encouraged (cw selfie, implied eye contact through sunglasses)

some of my best toots are two-parters. got to read em both to really get the full effect

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Onster Farm!

Onster Farm is the official Mastodon instance of Doctective Jake Peralta. In this house, we use alt text.