balene eve 🐳 @kelbesque@onster.farm

How am I gay

Let me count the ways

oxidation is a lie

You can't be against something that doesn't exist and there's no such thing as oxidation

Antioxidants aren't real.

Antioxidants are a scam.

OK I see the shrimp on there, but I'm PRETTY sure this is an oral sex joke. (CW: model photo, eye contact)

Fffffffffuck yes give me this now. (CW: model photo, eye contact)

Wear this tank when you think your workout buddy is cheating on you with the guy in the power rack. (CW: model photo, eye contact)

🤔

Given "kissing under the mistletoe", I can't tell if it's worse if this was intentional or accidental. (cw: model photo, eye contact)

Is this the sweatshirt equivalent of a shitpost? (CW: model photo, eye contact)

OK but actually this sweater, unironically. (CW: model photo, eye contact)

Getting a "Central Perk" t-shirt in Anno Domini Two Thousand Nineteen because that is apparently what white women wear now

I had a tattoo consult today and SO MUCH OF MY CONCEPT GOT THE CHOPPING BLOCK 😭😭😭

BUT for good reasons and the artist was very nice and gave me very illustrative examples from her own body of eg "I recommend you don't get small text, it will become illegible over the years" and ultimately the decisions about excluding things were me taking advice from a veteran and not her refusing to do things

Does anyone want to give me $1200 for more tattoos?

Why do I still read Oglaf?

partner: "Apparently you cannot [thing which is explicitly against the rules of the group] in [community group that we're in together]."

me: "Yeah, that's explicitly against the rules."

partner: "Well, thanks for the sympathy I guess."

😡 😡 😡