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You can't be against something that doesn't exist and there's no such thing as oxidation

OK I see the shrimp on there, but I'm PRETTY sure this is an oral sex joke. (CW: model photo, eye contact)

Fffffffffuck yes give me this now. (CW: model photo, eye contact)

Wear this tank when you think your workout buddy is cheating on you with the guy in the power rack. (CW: model photo, eye contact)

@kelbesque well now i need to wear this shirt to make it entirely intentional


Given "kissing under the mistletoe", I can't tell if it's worse if this was intentional or accidental. (cw: model photo, eye contact)

Is this the sweatshirt equivalent of a shitpost? (CW: model photo, eye contact)

OK but actually this sweater, unironically. (CW: model photo, eye contact)

Getting a "Central Perk" t-shirt in Anno Domini Two Thousand Nineteen because that is apparently what white women wear now

I had a tattoo consult today and SO MUCH OF MY CONCEPT GOT THE CHOPPING BLOCK 😭😭😭

BUT for good reasons and the artist was very nice and gave me very illustrative examples from her own body of eg "I recommend you don't get small text, it will become illegible over the years" and ultimately the decisions about excluding things were me taking advice from a veteran and not her refusing to do things

unserious money request 

hey you know what is fuckin essential and whips? people who care about you reminding you of the best of yourself, giving you back that room in your brain to succeed.

relationships (-) 

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Onster Farm!

Onster Farm is the official Mastodon instance of Doctective Jake Peralta. In this house, we use alt text.